It was the first day of school when she walked through the door. She had long curly brown hair and hazel eyes. She was so stunning. She had on dark skinny jeans with a vintage shirt and these awesome pair of cowboy boots tucked in. All Susie could repeat is "she is so cool". It was that moment that Susie wanted to be her her friend and just as cool as her. Her name was Giselle just like the model. "Class i would like to introduce Giselle who moved all the way from New York" said the teacher. Ms. Aren assigned her to see right next, i was scared of what she would think me and this small town. All i could do was keep my head low and keep as little as no eye contact towards her.
Thats when she said "hi my name is Giselle whats your name? My name is Susie Wow thats a nice name." In the back of my mind i was surprised by what she said. "Really? thanks. Your welcome" she said. "So class can anybody tell me the answer for number 15?" asked the teacher. Giselle raises her hand with excitment and a tiffany's braclet hanging from her wrist "the answer is 5x=3.14... Very good Giselle" All i could do was raise my head lower and not pay attention at all. "Brriingg!!!" the bell rang and i jumped out my seat and quickly left for lunch i felt so uncool sitting next to Giselle.
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The line "Giselle raises her hand with excitment and a tiffany's braclet hanging from her wrist" because you describe how she's "cool" because she has expensive name brand things. It's also "Cool" how your character is considered "cool" because she is from a new york.
ReplyDeleteLeah:
ReplyDeletei like your Short story it was nice and i like how you made the character be shy at first and then the character became uncomfortable that giselle was smarter than him . i also liked how you started off describing the character letting us get to no the person .
Leahhh!!!
ReplyDeleteGood job nice story! Its interesting how people have very different ideas of what it means to be "cool" like some of the other stories i have read your is very relatable, i think everyone has at a point in like where they felt like a loser when next to someone that exuded wealth and beauty. Although many think being rich is cool, there are many cases where overcoming a struggle is cooler why do you think that is? Btw thanks for leaving a comment on my story! :D
leah
ReplyDeletei like your story because your characters were introduced and had a backround to them. i like how when the two girls were next to eachother, there was a ditinct difference that you told us. overall good job.
Leah, I thought your story gave a good glimpse of what you think cool is. From your story it seems as though you consider perfection to be cool. Although not only do you view apoearence as cool but also personality and brains. I think that sometimes as humans we forget to look at the person as a whole and only what appears to our eye.
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