When our first speaker, the security guard, came in and she said that decided to breastfeed and she felt like she had that bond between a mother and child. She would have little connections with the baby while looking at him. I thought that that was interesting and it's something that the alot of books say are good for a child. She mentioned that most of the books she read on parenting really did not help and said that not all kids are the same which is true because each child has kind of their own "manual". What stood out to me was how she said that she also recieves help from her mother and grandma showing he has more than one female figure in his life that can take of him and love him. In addition, she said she doesn't want to raise her child in a place like New York City because of the infulences around here but rather in a place like Florida because the way it is strutured which i to a certain extend agree with that.
When the second speaker came i thought that he was very intriguting. When he talked about coming from a tight Catholic puerto rican family and being who he is today i thought that was cool. As far as him being a parent i think that it is nice how he uses his skills in a classroom as a teacher and uses it at home with his daughter. He also mentioned that parenting comes naturally and i agree with that i think that taking care of a child is not all about books but how you nuture the child as well. He said that lots of older people when they see his partner and him with their baby they don't discrminate they actually applaud them and i thought that was shocking at the same time nice.
After listening to this two speakers it made me think a lot about my future parenting skills and what choices i would be making. When i do decide to have a child i will use the same skills my mother used on me just like generations passed on. The skills and knowledge she has used on me has made a "good" person and see the good and bad things in life. I feel like with each generation you learn each time and know for the future how you are going to raise your child. Lots of times parents say "i don't want you to end up like me because of how i was raised" so they have new expectations and opinions on what they are going to do to make their child better or successful.
Going back to the idea of raising a child in the urban area such as NYC i think if i did have a kid i would raise them in this kind of environment for two reasons. First i have lived in this kind of environment all my life so why change now? Secondly because i think that at some point in their life they are going to come across people who are will try to pressure them into things. Every place is different but they all have the same thing so it's not that its that much different. When i have a child i think that i will also use some type of punishment like hitting them if they don't listen to me because it worked for me as a child and sometimes kids need discipline to show them value of respect.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
Hw#57-Parenting 101
I think that parents should be strict at times with their children and be stern with them because if you let your child just do whatever they want they will not respect you as an adult furthermore a parent which just causes more conflict. Parents should make sure that their kids doing what they have to do and are discipline. Without discipline then the child will be all over the place. At the same time the parents should let the child have a freedom and do things they like. I feel like it's 50/50 if give what you get. Also i think that if your child is misbehaving you should hit them because sometimes it works but not to the extreme where it abuse. Sometimes you have to show the child who has the upper hand and who they have to respect. In order to give respect you have to earn it.
The best parts of how i was parented was that my mom gave me a lot of discipline at the same time allowed me to do things that i wanted to do which gave me the best of both worlds. Even though my mom is strict at times with me, it has helped me with me now especially with school because i am a very independent person and i don't need someone on my back all the time. I think that if my mom did not parent me the way she did, i would probably be doing bad in school and not having my priorities straight. I would probably be a mess. The parenting my mother did has molded me in a intelligent young woman and i know that later on i will use the same skills she did on my future children.
I think babies should not be treated like puppies but not like adults either because they are so young. They don't know exactly what they are doing, they brain is not functioning correctly. As the baby grows older, they should get treated more like an adult because in the real world you don't get treated like a baby so they should learn from a young age. Like babies tend to get what they want and they are "suppose to win" because they are going to get upset but that is not like that when they grow up. So i lean more towards babies should be treated like adults. In reality, people do not get treated like puppies. I think that parenting is a thing that comes naturally and things that you learn from others. There is not really a manual that can teach you how to "take care of YOUR child". As your child grows so do you and you learn new things on the way. In my family didn't look in books to find out how to care for their children. I feel like my family in general just knows how to care because in my cultural its the kind of environment that we "stay together and care for one another" especially after generations and generations of reproduction.
After reading about the Ferber method i thought that it was an interesting theory. i find it funny how people have these different techniques to help these kids at a young age. I wonder how good this is and if it actually works. Another one i read when parenting backfires, i thought that it was pretty reasonable but most of the time i don't feel that works because the child always wants to take charge so it's better for the parents just dominant over them until they get older to really understand the concept. I agree with the lady that you just have to be the one to say how it is.
Reading about the attaching parenting i thought it was interesting how each thing a baby does is broken down and means a different thing because i didn't really know that but at the same time it don't believe that it's 100% true because how do they know that exactly. "Breastmilk contains unique brain-building nutrients that cannot be manufactured or bought" i thought that was kind of funny like can breastmilk really do that? I just think that all these theories are very interesting and i was wondering if these people who made them up actually have kids.
The best parts of how i was parented was that my mom gave me a lot of discipline at the same time allowed me to do things that i wanted to do which gave me the best of both worlds. Even though my mom is strict at times with me, it has helped me with me now especially with school because i am a very independent person and i don't need someone on my back all the time. I think that if my mom did not parent me the way she did, i would probably be doing bad in school and not having my priorities straight. I would probably be a mess. The parenting my mother did has molded me in a intelligent young woman and i know that later on i will use the same skills she did on my future children.
I think babies should not be treated like puppies but not like adults either because they are so young. They don't know exactly what they are doing, they brain is not functioning correctly. As the baby grows older, they should get treated more like an adult because in the real world you don't get treated like a baby so they should learn from a young age. Like babies tend to get what they want and they are "suppose to win" because they are going to get upset but that is not like that when they grow up. So i lean more towards babies should be treated like adults. In reality, people do not get treated like puppies. I think that parenting is a thing that comes naturally and things that you learn from others. There is not really a manual that can teach you how to "take care of YOUR child". As your child grows so do you and you learn new things on the way. In my family didn't look in books to find out how to care for their children. I feel like my family in general just knows how to care because in my cultural its the kind of environment that we "stay together and care for one another" especially after generations and generations of reproduction.
After reading about the Ferber method i thought that it was an interesting theory. i find it funny how people have these different techniques to help these kids at a young age. I wonder how good this is and if it actually works. Another one i read when parenting backfires, i thought that it was pretty reasonable but most of the time i don't feel that works because the child always wants to take charge so it's better for the parents just dominant over them until they get older to really understand the concept. I agree with the lady that you just have to be the one to say how it is.
Reading about the attaching parenting i thought it was interesting how each thing a baby does is broken down and means a different thing because i didn't really know that but at the same time it don't believe that it's 100% true because how do they know that exactly. "Breastmilk contains unique brain-building nutrients that cannot be manufactured or bought" i thought that was kind of funny like can breastmilk really do that? I just think that all these theories are very interesting and i was wondering if these people who made them up actually have kids.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Hw#56 Interviews and Survey Question
Chris
What is your opinion on marriage?
Uhmmm if you really in love marriage is the way to go, but marriage is a ery important step in a couples life. Think it over and make sure it is for you.
Do you think marriage is overrated why or why not?
I think marriage can be overrated depending on who the couple is and how the couple presents themselves while their married.
Do you think marriage has changed over the years? Why or why not?
Yeah, i think marraige has. I think before it was a way to show a couple's love for one another, now i think it is just something couple's do to keep their families together.
Yarelyn
What is the valid reason you think people get married?
To feel like it is really official
Do you think marriage has evoloved over the years? If so, why?
Yeah. I feel like before it meant something and now people just do it for no reason, like just because you love one another, they feel obligated to marry.
When should people get married?
When they feel that they're both stable emotionally and economically as well.
My Mom (Jenny)
Do you think marriage has changed over the years?
Yes because now relationships the women work more and the responsiblities have to be 50/50 and men often cannot multi-task as much as women can.
Do you think marriage is overrated?
At times because religion/church made marriage to be a certain way. Society today people are making their own marriage in their own way.
Was your marriage different from the first? If so, how?
Of course, it's different for me at 20 i had a kid, most kids are starting college. The second time i was more mature and had goals. I already experienced having a child, had a career and different life.
After doing the interviews i thought that each person that i asked how has marriage changed over the years they each had a valid point. I think that its interesting how people do get married and stay in relatioship to keep families together and how marriage is not the traditional Catholic Church that everybody is making their own movement to things especially in how they want to get married. I feel like we find more people getting divorced than we see getting married. Also that it does not mean the same thing anymore kind of like a new trend.
*Do you think marriage is a lead to success or leading to disaster?
What is your opinion on marriage?
Uhmmm if you really in love marriage is the way to go, but marriage is a ery important step in a couples life. Think it over and make sure it is for you.
Do you think marriage is overrated why or why not?
I think marriage can be overrated depending on who the couple is and how the couple presents themselves while their married.
Do you think marriage has changed over the years? Why or why not?
Yeah, i think marraige has. I think before it was a way to show a couple's love for one another, now i think it is just something couple's do to keep their families together.
Yarelyn
What is the valid reason you think people get married?
To feel like it is really official
Do you think marriage has evoloved over the years? If so, why?
Yeah. I feel like before it meant something and now people just do it for no reason, like just because you love one another, they feel obligated to marry.
When should people get married?
When they feel that they're both stable emotionally and economically as well.
My Mom (Jenny)
Do you think marriage has changed over the years?
Yes because now relationships the women work more and the responsiblities have to be 50/50 and men often cannot multi-task as much as women can.
Do you think marriage is overrated?
At times because religion/church made marriage to be a certain way. Society today people are making their own marriage in their own way.
Was your marriage different from the first? If so, how?
Of course, it's different for me at 20 i had a kid, most kids are starting college. The second time i was more mature and had goals. I already experienced having a child, had a career and different life.
After doing the interviews i thought that each person that i asked how has marriage changed over the years they each had a valid point. I think that its interesting how people do get married and stay in relatioship to keep families together and how marriage is not the traditional Catholic Church that everybody is making their own movement to things especially in how they want to get married. I feel like we find more people getting divorced than we see getting married. Also that it does not mean the same thing anymore kind of like a new trend.
*Do you think marriage is a lead to success or leading to disaster?
Monday, May 10, 2010
Hw#55
Part #1 :What are the factors that cause a new relationship to end based on human needs for terminology?
Part#2: For Steph's Question:
I agree with Matthew that the question should be how instead of why because you will get specific evidence or more valid points to get good information and be able to answer your question well. Overall i think the question is interesting and keep going. Be specific. :)
For Matt's Question:
I think your question is good and i liked how you elaborated on the second part of the question going in deeper meaning not just who we determine to love. I do not have really any corrections. Good Job!
Why do we have labels and how does it that it affects us to cause relationships to lead to disaster? How is it that new young relationships end based on human terminology is it past experiences or nature insecurities? Is there a way to label and not lose yourself completely?
1.) http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/147198/relationship_ambiguity_boyfriend_girlfriend.html?cat=41
This article talks about how when kids were younger that kids were forced to pick that one friend who was close to them and label them "bestfriend" which caused fights between kids just by the label. Everybody wants to be cared and loved for. It also said that when woman become involved with someone and get into that lovey dovey stuff they want to label the romantic relationships. I feel that that is true because woman sometimes become attached. "In the past few years, I've come to both love and hate labels. Whether they define relationships, personal acheivements, beliefs, or whatever. I've learned that labels lead to all sorts of expectations and pre-conceived notions. And labels can rob an individual of his/her uniqueness or force a relationship to comply with certain standards." I agree with this because "labels" do tend to lead to things like that and takes away your true colors.
2.) http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2009/11/intimacy-abundance-and-label-free-relationships/
This article is mainly discussing the person's views on labeling relationships and intimacy abundance and giving you insight. I think that the person has valid points on how labeling different relationships cause you to pre-judge. "Social conditioning affects us in two ways. First, we may have a tendency to pre-judge others based on their associated labels. If you know someone is single vs. married, does that change how you relate to the person? The second way social conditioning affects us is through the labels others associate to us." I think that it s true that people who are more consicious that labels do have less impact on them and it goes the same way vice-versa.
3.) http://ojar.com/view_15811.htm
This a story about a man who tells a story about this woman and his "relationship". He discusses how she basically wanted to put a label on their relationship but he was feeling the opposite. They obviously were not seeing eye to eye. I think overall if you are relly feeling a person and like them why not consider them your boyfriend or girlfriend? "But this got me thinking about labels: seeing each other, dating, going out, boyfriend, girlfriend, exclusive, a couple, .... just what do they mean." At the same time i think that what he saying is true that what does these relationships really mean and why does it have such an affect on us. Its one of those things that you feel if you put a label on it or something that it always turns out for the worse.
4.) http://move.themaneater.com/stories/2010/4/23/label-or-not-label/
The author of this column i think leads more on the term of labeling just to save yourself for the future drama that awaits you. She saying that you should not rush into things and rather just take them slowly. "It's a lot harder to get out of being called "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" than it is to get into it. And it's not just about being "exclusive;" when you put labels on a relationship with any other person, it becomes more difficult to make individual decisions. I'm not judging if you need the title. I'm just saying you should think about it first -- will your relationship really change with someone for the better simply because you both decide you're "in a relationship"? Probably not. " I agree that its hard to get out of that naming type, thats why its just good to over think things instead of rushing.
Part#2: For Steph's Question:
I agree with Matthew that the question should be how instead of why because you will get specific evidence or more valid points to get good information and be able to answer your question well. Overall i think the question is interesting and keep going. Be specific. :)
For Matt's Question:
I think your question is good and i liked how you elaborated on the second part of the question going in deeper meaning not just who we determine to love. I do not have really any corrections. Good Job!
Why do we have labels and how does it that it affects us to cause relationships to lead to disaster? How is it that new young relationships end based on human terminology is it past experiences or nature insecurities? Is there a way to label and not lose yourself completely?
1.) http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/147198/relationship_ambiguity_boyfriend_girlfriend.html?cat=41
This article talks about how when kids were younger that kids were forced to pick that one friend who was close to them and label them "bestfriend" which caused fights between kids just by the label. Everybody wants to be cared and loved for. It also said that when woman become involved with someone and get into that lovey dovey stuff they want to label the romantic relationships. I feel that that is true because woman sometimes become attached. "In the past few years, I've come to both love and hate labels. Whether they define relationships, personal acheivements, beliefs, or whatever. I've learned that labels lead to all sorts of expectations and pre-conceived notions. And labels can rob an individual of his/her uniqueness or force a relationship to comply with certain standards." I agree with this because "labels" do tend to lead to things like that and takes away your true colors.
2.) http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2009/11/intimacy-abundance-and-label-free-relationships/
This article is mainly discussing the person's views on labeling relationships and intimacy abundance and giving you insight. I think that the person has valid points on how labeling different relationships cause you to pre-judge. "Social conditioning affects us in two ways. First, we may have a tendency to pre-judge others based on their associated labels. If you know someone is single vs. married, does that change how you relate to the person? The second way social conditioning affects us is through the labels others associate to us." I think that it s true that people who are more consicious that labels do have less impact on them and it goes the same way vice-versa.
3.) http://ojar.com/view_15811.htm
This a story about a man who tells a story about this woman and his "relationship". He discusses how she basically wanted to put a label on their relationship but he was feeling the opposite. They obviously were not seeing eye to eye. I think overall if you are relly feeling a person and like them why not consider them your boyfriend or girlfriend? "But this got me thinking about labels: seeing each other, dating, going out, boyfriend, girlfriend, exclusive, a couple, .... just what do they mean." At the same time i think that what he saying is true that what does these relationships really mean and why does it have such an affect on us. Its one of those things that you feel if you put a label on it or something that it always turns out for the worse.
4.) http://move.themaneater.com/stories/2010/4/23/label-or-not-label/
The author of this column i think leads more on the term of labeling just to save yourself for the future drama that awaits you. She saying that you should not rush into things and rather just take them slowly. "It's a lot harder to get out of being called "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" than it is to get into it. And it's not just about being "exclusive;" when you put labels on a relationship with any other person, it becomes more difficult to make individual decisions. I'm not judging if you need the title. I'm just saying you should think about it first -- will your relationship really change with someone for the better simply because you both decide you're "in a relationship"? Probably not. " I agree that its hard to get out of that naming type, thats why its just good to over think things instead of rushing.
Hw#54
| ENTJ - "Field Marshall". The basic driving force and need is to lead. Tend to seek a position of responsibility and enjoys being an executive. 1.8% of total population. |
After taking the the survey, i thought that i had to think a lot about myself to answer the questions. I think that the test kind of inaccuate about me because i feel that i am not the type of person who can just "sell" things to people. On the other hand, i think that i would make a good hostess and easy to socialize with people at the same time not with people i do not know. The part where is says that i am "extroverted" and "sensing i think that is true about myself because i am outgoing towards people and able to express my feelings in a excessive matter. Sensing is another trait because i do use my senses for everything especially my feelings. The "judging" part i think that is true because i am the type of person to be like you do it "like this this and that" everything very precise.Overall i think that the survey was pretty accurate on my personality.
Comparing my results to my mom we are very similar when it comes down to it just as i am judging and want things in particular order she is the same way. For example when we were in class we could easily tell if a person was introverted or exotroverted. I think that the results of the test were pretty reliable and accurate.
*My results are a little different this time because it would not post i had to do it over.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Hw#53-Survey Analysis
While taking the survey it made me think a lot about myself and the people around me. Looking at the questions and reading them made me think further ahead about what my life consist of and where im going. The questions about family made me think more deeply than anything because family is a big thing to me and then finally answering those questions was just like "wow" and answering honestly. One question that struck me was the sucicide question because never in my life did i ever thought about ending my life. I kind of enjoyerd taking the survey even the personal questions. I feel like the survey itself made me think about life more such as family, friends, and love and how these different things affect us. For the short answer questions, i did not really hesitaite i feel like it was straight forward for me while some other questions you really had to stop and think about what to right or how your are really feeling. Its hard for someone to just lay their thoughts all right there.
Looking at the results for the survey i found some of the results kind of shocking and interesting. When i saw the percent of friends come before family and it had 2% i thought that was shocking because i feel no matter what family is always first. Another result that shocked me was i'm happy by myself because its a pretty high percent and usually people feel they need other people to be happy not by themselves. I feel like i am similar to most of the other students who took the survey and that the majority of the class had similar answers to myself. I feel like sometimes we just look at the big numbers and do not pay attention to the small numbers which counts as well like the question i cry once a week. How is that 7.7% of kids cry once a week that kind of weird and interesting.
Looking at all three survey i feel they are similar at the same time different. Unlike the other two our survey was not that many people but like for the drugs, and sex part i feel the percentage were simliar. One part that stuck out to me was looking at the YRBSS survey and how the percentage of obesity and dietary was high for females and as high for males. It seems females are more self-consicious about theor body than males were. I feel like overall you do not know really if all this is true because people may lie or the question may not be questioned correctly so it not so accurate. In the survey for our section we had more of an varieties unlike the others who had to answer straight yes or no answers which is also not fair. I also feel like people of color were targeted for most of them.
Looking at the results for the survey i found some of the results kind of shocking and interesting. When i saw the percent of friends come before family and it had 2% i thought that was shocking because i feel no matter what family is always first. Another result that shocked me was i'm happy by myself because its a pretty high percent and usually people feel they need other people to be happy not by themselves. I feel like i am similar to most of the other students who took the survey and that the majority of the class had similar answers to myself. I feel like sometimes we just look at the big numbers and do not pay attention to the small numbers which counts as well like the question i cry once a week. How is that 7.7% of kids cry once a week that kind of weird and interesting.
Looking at all three survey i feel they are similar at the same time different. Unlike the other two our survey was not that many people but like for the drugs, and sex part i feel the percentage were simliar. One part that stuck out to me was looking at the YRBSS survey and how the percentage of obesity and dietary was high for females and as high for males. It seems females are more self-consicious about theor body than males were. I feel like overall you do not know really if all this is true because people may lie or the question may not be questioned correctly so it not so accurate. In the survey for our section we had more of an varieties unlike the others who had to answer straight yes or no answers which is also not fair. I also feel like people of color were targeted for most of them.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Hw#52-Intital Theories of Human Relationships
One theory that i grew up with is, is that family always comes first no matter what. No matter what family is always going to be there for you not just friends. It's kind of like your obligated to your family and to always have their back. I think specifically in hispanic culture they try to keep their family very close to them. They are very family orientated. I do not really understand why in the hispanic culture we are so much trying to be "one for all and all for one". The theory of having family come first, i like it in a way that you create a close bond with your siblings and other family members that you can't create with just ordinary people.
A theory that i live by is Live. Life. Love because you should live your life to the fullest and enjoy it. People should not worry about the bad things in life but cherish the good ones and laugh it off. I feel like this relates to teenagers a lot because you don't want to worry about nothing but having fun and doing what you want to do to enjoy life. Lots of people say that you should live your life to be successful and do what you want to do. People want to picture their life with the ideal family perfect job and nice living circumstances but that does not always happen.
When it comes to love, i feel like it can be broken down into many different things. They say you find one soul mate in your life time. I think that it is true because their only one person out there for you. On the other hand i think that there is no such thing as love at first sight because that is very misleading to people and not everybody you meet or like your not going to end up with. In a typical boyfriend girlfriend relationship that we created in our society is that the male is suppose to take out the female out, give her flowers, and tell her how beautiful she is everyday but why?
When it comes to friendship i think that its pretty simple. In a friendship you should always be loyal and have their back as you do with family. The most common theory on friendship is being there for the person no matter what and being that shoulder to cry on. In society we made so if you dont have a family of your own thats why you create friends and make a new one especially when kids go to school creating new bonds that are different from family. As the same time why is that those supposedly "friends" of ours backstab each other and mistreat one another thats not family or is it?
When it comes to friendship i think that its pretty simple. In a friendship you should always be loyal and have their back as you do with family. The most common theory on friendship is being there for the person no matter what and being that shoulder to cry on. In society we made so if you dont have a family of your own thats why you create friends and make a new one especially when kids go to school creating new bonds that are different from family. As the same time why is that those supposedly "friends" of ours backstab each other and mistreat one another thats not family or is it?
A common theory that we all have been taught is if you want respect you have to give and that do to others they way you would want to be treated but i think that doesn't work all the time so what is the point? Some of theses theories that we leave by i think is a lot of bull because not all of them work and we don't always follow thru with it. Other times those theories just seem to fall into place in what we might be going thru especially life in general.
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